 My second date, tonight. Oh my goodness. The pieces are finally falling into place. Not just with romantic situations, but all situations with men and so many confusing and conflicting thoughts and feelings. It's really starting to make sense. But more importantly. I did it. I flipping did it again.
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 I have two dates. I'm not sure how it happened but it has, and it's happening tonight and tomorrow. Two different men; one tall, one short, both nice. Oh God. The tally of mad notions has begun:
No. 1) I'm going to die. No.2)What do they want? (This in a kind of sod off tone) And No.3)They want me. This idea was quite a surprise. I'm doing EMDR and I've got through the major shakes and some mild non-epileptic seizures. I'm feeling a bit scared and excited but I'm OK. So I'm doing it. I'm off. Ooo this is mad.  I phoned the tree surgeon. I really did. I did it after my evening tai chi class and I went to the beach to do it. Then I could say I was at the beach and be immediately attractive. It didn't quite go as planned.  Well, I knew it would happen. It had to really. The tree surgeon wants to actually talk to me. In real life. It's probably enough for me to say my eyes are so wide open at the moment they may roll out of my head.
 I don't want to write this. If I write it then I have to do it (which isn't true), I might have to do it. I shouldn't write it. Damn it, I will.
This is the beginning of the Great Dating Challenge 2012. 'What?', I hear you ask. Well, my body is very afraid of men. It's a big part of wanting to stay inside. Somewhere in my body is a sentence carved in stone saying 'men hurt'. Well no more. I have a hammer and chisel and I'm not afraid to use them. I have joined a dating site. | AuthorFrida Bird is a writer of fiction, non-fiction, screenplay and poetry. She is also a keen wildlife photographer, which can be frustrating given that she is GIANT and wears a red coat. Complex PTSD - Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - An anxiety disorder that can develop after trauma.
EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprogramming - a technique to help process memories or flashbacks. ArchivesJune 2012 CategoriesAll |
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